Dolphins Humping Enemy SCUBA Divers?

After reading this piece from Foggy Ruminations, you won't be worried about enemy SCUBA divers ever again, probably.

Basically, the terrorists just aren't up to the task, what with all the the serious and precise training, technology, planning and attitude required. It's just too risky, the odds of success are extremely low, and there's generally not a big enough potential terror benefit.

With all this, they've still got the killer dolphins to worry about.

"Finally, the REASON AQ divers would never have the sack to enter any major US port, or come near US vessels in the Persian Gulf. Scroll down to the Mk 6 dolphin program which is managed by Navy EOD. Mk 6 dolphins are a diver’s worst nightmare, and that is no understatement. ..."


The following would make a great, crowd pleasing scene in some terrorism movie:

"These marine mammals are trained to find and attack divers that are operating in the patrol area. Imagine swimming around a US warship laden with explosives at night with ill intentions on your mind, and suddenly a 500 lb. dolphin rams into your side at full speed out of nowhere. Of course this dolphin has a nose cone attached to a .45 caliber contact initiated round for good measure.

Or how about a needle connected to a CO2 cartridge that injects the diver with gas forcing him to rapidly surface? Essentially the dolphin will continue to ram the diver until he surfaces… dead or alive. At which point, the guy will either have had a stroke or heart attack, certainly several broken bones, and perhaps even be shot from the pier. These things are for real, and they don’t dick around. ..."


And now for the final humiliation:

"After considering the cost, most terrorists would rather go with the old car bomb standby or the spray and pray at a crowded shopping mall routine. To add insult to injury, dolphins are very, shall I say, sexually aggressive by nature. Mk 6 dolphins don’t generally contain their appetites to their own species either. I’m not sure how that could be explained to Allah in the afterlife."


Finally, have the camera slowly fade to black as 3 huge horny dolphins brutally gang-hump the broken, bloody and humiliated terrorist, as his agonizing screaming and sobbing keeps getting softer and weaker once it goes black.

Please Hollywood, please bring back some good old terrorist movies, and give us more scenes like this one.

:)