Thursday, March 31, 2005

Kenny's Feeding Tube Removed!

This week's episode of South Park addresses many wild angles of a "Terry Schiavo" type case.

Kenny (the character who is killed off in every show) gets hit, run over, and killed by a truck whose driver is distracted by playing the latest hand-held video game. He's thrilled that he's reached Level 4.

Kenny was hit because he was standing in the middle of the road distracted by playing the same game. He's thrilled that he's reached Level 59!

In Heaven, Kenny learns that because he has the highest score on Earth he's been chosen by God to lead Heaven in the impending video game-commanded war against the more populous and powerful Hell. Without their "Keanu Reeves", Heaven is doomed, just like the humans in "The Matrix" are doomed against the machines without Reeve's charachter "Neo".

But trouble looms, back on the Earthly plane, in the hospital, Kenny has been brought back to life after being dead for 24 hours. But now with severe brain damage, he's in a persistent vegetative state and must be kept alive with a feeding tube.

In his will (read while he's thought to be dead), Kenny has left the greedy Cartman all his worldly possessions, but his wishes for how he should be treated if he becomes a vegetable are on the last page, which has been lost.

So Cartman wants Kenny dead; to win their war, Hell needs him to live, and Heaven needs him to die.

A judge, siding with Cartman, orders his feeding tube to be removed.

So of course, the fight escalates, and everyone gets sucked into what becomes a huge media frenzy.

The Devil's boyfriend (yes, I said boyfriend) even tries feeding lines to a Bush-like Republican leader who is giving a speech arguing to save Kenny's life by re-inserting the feeding tube. Thus, if Kenny lives, Hell wins.

Finally, the judge finds the last page of Kenny's will which states that if he ever becomes a vegetable he wishes simply not to be shown on national television in that condition. So everyone leaves him alone in his hospital room, Kenny dies, and then goes back to Heaven, and proceeds to lead it to a decisive and violent victory over Hell.

The creators of South Park gently make fun of most everybody involved, except Kenny, and unlike Terry Schiavo, he'll be back next week.

I want to believe that Heaven, or its equivalent, has plans for Terry too.